TROY - Martin Patterson IV, a lifelong Troy resident, realized that he's always pronounced his hometown's name "Chroy." He came to the realization as he drove past a Troy water tower during a drunken ride home from Fricker's. "I was…
TIPP CITY - For years, outsiders have linked the Tippecanoe student body with occult practices due to their “Red Devils” mascot. However, a recent study showed that only 83% of these students actually worship Satan. We enrolled an unpaid intern…
MIAMI COUNTY - We’re all busy people. We all get in a hurry from time to time. When it’s time to get where you need to go, there are some traffic lights you just don’t want to f*** with. Until…
TROY - Rumors have surfaced that the city of Troy will permit open beverage carrying through means of a Designated Outdoor Refreshment Zone (DORZ). The ruling would allow locals to get completely blitzed in more public spaces than ever before.…
GREENVILLE - Miami County acquired Greenville in its latest imperial conquest, using military force to capture the city from Darke County. Greenville quickly surrendered after the Miami County Military surrounded the town and cut off supplies. The siege lasted roughly…