In Miami County, locals flock to Dunaway’s Beef & Ale for St. Patty’s Day to have the most authentic Irish experience possible. This year, Dunaway’s will be offering a new menu of ridiculous drink specials to cater to divorced fathers in the area. Here are 5 deals that will completely destroy your life:
$.30 Jameson Shots
From noon until midnight, Jameson shots are only $.30! This is cheaper than pretty much everywhere on earth, so of course there’s a catch. You must open a tab and buy a round of shots for the owners. And if you look closely behind the bar, there’s a small, beef-smudged sign that says “$60 minimum on cards.” So if you think you can take enough $.30 shots for a $60 tab, this deal is perfect for you!
Karaoke Car Bomb
Dunaway’s is known for their karaoke, and the rock sure isn’t stopping for St. Patty’s day. Every person who sings Dropkick Murphy’s “I’m Shipping Up To Boston” will receive a free Irish Car Bomb. This deal only applies to this song, so get ready to hear it like, all day.
A Pint and a Punch
If you’re not wearing green, you can buy a domestic pint and then the bartender will punch you square in the face. This then grants you immunity from being pinched inside the bar for the rest of the day. This is totally normal Irish custom and not a bad deal in the end.
$1 Guinness Raffle
All customers who order a $1 Guinness between 6 AM and 6 PM will be entered in a raffle. The winner will be awarded with a beefy Rueben of their choice, and then has to buy the owner a round of Fireball shots. Dunaway’s will be dusting off their Instagram page for the first time since 2015 to post a photo of the lucky winner!
Smithwick’s Pronunciation Bonus Pint
If you order a Smithwick’s on draft and pronounce it correctly, you get a free bonus pint. If you pronounce it “smith-wicks,” the bartender will punch you square in the face. It’s a pretty good deal if you know your shit.
We’ll have reporters on the scene tonight to document the carnage that’s bound to happen at Dunaway’s. Make sure you’re subscribed to our weekly newsletter to get up-to-the-minute alerts on how the riots in downtown Troy unfold.