TROY – The Arbogast Flag just got way bigger, following the launch of Arbogast’s “2022 Larger Than Life” marketing campaign.
The initiative was launched to “remind locals who the big dogs are” and boost subscriptions for Arbogast’s extremely popular GMC Conversion Van YouTube channel.
The old flag had previously been touted as the “largest in Ohio,” but most people just stopped caring over the years. For Arbogast, this was unacceptable, and a move needed to be made to really show their size off exit 69.
The new flag has over 3 million threads, with dimensions of 40 by 80 feet. The flagpole itself weighs over 3,000 pounds to support the large fabric in strong winds. The Guinness Book of World Records is scheduled to measure the flag next week and confirm it as the largest flag on planet earth.
“This will be huge for us and everyone else in Miami County. We want to give everyone something to be proud of, so they can say ‘Yes, I am from Miami County, home of the world’s largest flag at Dave Arbogast Buick GMC.’” said Arbogast’s Chief Marketing Officer, Ricky Arbogast.
Other nearby dealerships are extremely annoyed by Arbogast’s latest stunt, calling it “inappropriate and unnecessary.” An anonymous dealership employee claimed that “Arbogast is too focused on turning their dealership into a tourist attraction.”
Other locals believe this is the first of many moves from Arbogast this year, with one suggesting that Arbogast could erect a ferris wheel on their property to lure more visitors off exit 69. However, Arbogast imagines more for the local new and used car dealership.
Arbogast teased a 4x scale recreation of the Leaning Tower of Piza, hoping to really “tower over the off-ramp at exit 69.” While the plot of land across from the dealership is currently undeveloped, Arbogast is keen on building a gift shop and visitors center for the upcoming tourist trap.
“There’s just so much land here, and I really like things BIG you know. My wife, you know, she’s not a tiny lady. My sons, Chester and Ronman, are both surprisingly surly, beefy boys. We have the largest selection of conversion vans and RVs this side of the Midwest. Surely there are other things we can make bigger?”
Our unpaid interns are keeping watch at the city clerk’s office for any new building permits to be filed on the project. Be sure to stay subscribed to the Miami County Bugle Caller for more breaking updates on this story.