TROY – Amidst a rough Q3 with dwindling readers and unmotivated employees, investors are calling for the Miami County Bugle Caller to shut down.
“It’s about time to pull the plug on this thing. We have plenty of full time employees but they can hardly crank out 1 article per week between all of them. If they can’t hold that standard, they don’t deserve that fancy new headquarters we just purchased for them,” said Jerry Jones Sr., MCBC investor.
The company has fallen hard after turning down a multi-million dollar offer to sell the company. At that time, investors believed that such a small amount of money would never be enough to hand over the keys to “Miami County’s most trusted source in news.” Now, MCBC is at high risk of stooping down as low as other local outlets such as tdn-net.com, and miamivalleytoday.com.
Co-founder and CEO Davis Wong claims that will not happen under his watch.
“I never thought I’d hear our name mentioned alongside those inferior websites again,” said Wong. “It’s completely embarrassing, so I will make it my personal responsibility to publish 1-2 articles a week until I die. They will have to physically remove me from our headquarters if they want to take us down.”
After announcing hundreds of layoffs earlier this year, the publication has been embroiled in lawsuits amounting to thousands in legal fees. Wong noted that he intends “to use every right granted to us by having a lot of money and the shadiest lawyers in the state.”
Internally, this strife has led to debate about how best to move all the money left in this little cash cow to a shell corporation. In this scenario, the decaying corpse would then take on debt from the shell corporation and make off with most of the money. Mario Cheltingham, Executive Editor for MCBC stated “I absolutely do not want the Miami County Bugle Caller to shut down. And without some fall guy, we’re going to get fucking taken down for this,” dismissing the idea outright. “We’ve already laid off all the absolutely meaningless employees that we could throw under the bus.”
Experts have noted the most likely outcome will be that the mysterious chairman of the board will likely inject a large amount of capital in the middle of the night, revitalizing the publication and buying enough illicit substances to get the staff up and working again.
This is a developing story. Subscribe to the Miami County Bugle Caller for more news about the Miami County Bugle Caller.