TIPP CITY – On Thursday August 12th, the Tipp City Council voted unanimously to permanently ban cigarettes within city limits. The ruling still permits other nicotine products, such as chewing tobacco, vapes, cigars, and gum. Violators can face up to 12 years in federal prison and fines upward of $200,000. The law goes into effect on January 1st, 2022.
City Councilman Ryan Schmirnoff stated that the law was put in effect to “keep Tipp City pristine” and reduce the number of government jobs required to pick up cigarettes behind Tony’s Bada Bing.
“We’ve got something great going on here in Tipp, but we will always continue striving for greatness. This city and its people shine brighter than anywhere else in this county. I mean just look at Piqua campaigning for ‘quality citizens’ to join their community.”
A small group of protesters gathered outside of City Hall during the ruling, with each individual blazing roughly 4 cigarettes at a time. A billowing cloud of smoke and a pyramid of cartons blocked the entrance, leaving officials trapped in the building until they realized they could use the backdoor.
“We will smoke, or there will be smoke,” said protester Zander Kale, founder of the Tipp City Cigsmoking Coalition (TCCC). “We will burn this city before they extinguish our last cigarette.”
TCCC will soon be selling t-shirts that read “Blowing out one’s cigarette doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.” All proceeds will go towards moving expenses for TCCC members. There will also be cig smoking meetups, which “typically consist of 15 people chain smoking and trying to create a massive cloud.” Meetings will be held at the Tipp City Veterans Memorial Park from 6PM until the carton runs out, when “we’ll use the cardboard as a shell for a massive, bulk-sized cig, to really piss off the city council” Kale said in a statement to the press. In the meantime, buy your smokes before Tipp City bans cigarettes.
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