Power Outage Affects Less Than 1 Million Miami County Residents
One of the less than 1 million Miami County residents affected by the outage.

Power Outage Affects Less Than 1 Million Miami County Residents

Miami County – Less than one million Miami County residents are without power as of Friday morning. 

According to an outage map that we hacked from Miami County Lightworks (MCL), a private energy conglomerate, this could or could not be an accurate number. 

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One local Facebook commenter speculated that it was a marketing scheme by Miami County Lightworks. “The truth is, they wanted to donate some power while the issue was all over the news.”

“It’s a no brainer. MCL had no clout in Texas until this opportunity came up. This is obviously a play to market some gas,” wrote PJ Milosevic on a Dayton Daily News Facebook post about the outage. 

After the discovery of a massive natural gas basin beneath Brukner Nature Center in 2019, Miami County replaced Uzbekistan as the 15th largest gas exporter in the world.

Miami County
Satellite location map of Uzbekistan.

The less-than-one-million powerless residents are concentrated around West Milton. The energy grid of the township or incorporated community or whatever West Milton can be called, is operated by Miami County Lightworks. 

The locals are facing many difficulties from the power outage. 

“I haven’t played my Playstation in 4 days now,” said Thomas McCurdy, 11, of West Milton. “Please, make this power outage stop.”

Other locals are dealing with more or less severe consequences of the outages, such as frozen livestock, home school closures, and a lack of bad-tasting well water.  

Miami County
One of less than 1 million frozen cows in West Milton.

“My pipes burst, and now my living room down to the pool table and home movie theater in my basement is one single icicle. It’s really inconvenient,” said a frustrated Jack Jefferson, the richest man in West Milton.  

Miami County Lightworks blamed renewable energy and a lack of balls for the outrage over the temporary power outage. 

“Did you say less than one million people were affected? Seems like a small number,” replied Miami County Lightworks spokesperson Tim Vicar. “People need to buck up. We absolutely donated energy grid space to reach out to the big Texas energy guys. I’m a huge Bush fan.”

The spokesperson then suggested that all power should be back on by “late February, maybe.”

Until then, conserve your phone battery so you don’t miss an article from the Miami County Bugle Caller.

Miami County Singles
McGinty Funeral Home
Hard Balls Casino
Miami County Singles
Steel Lounge
Passion Winery
Matt's Wasted
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Visit Lake St. Mary's Today
Miami County Pyramid Schemes
Spritegoose: We Keep You Safe
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Tippecanoe Lifestyle Community, Bue you in front of everyone else
Danny's Custard Wagon
Twinkle Van Dam: Psychic for Hire
El Sombrero
Schafty's Brew House

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