EW! A hoarder house in Piqua has been officially condemned after decades of accumulated filth. The Miami County Bugle Caller is the first local news site to obtain images of the house, and it is our duty to share these very real photos with you.
WARNING: IMAGES ARE SHOCKING AND GET WORSE AS IT GOES.
GROSS. Believe it or not, the living room was by far the cleanest room in the home. The tenant stated that it was important for them to “have a clear path to the front door,” so they could go on their “daily walk to Sunoco to buy Cheez Noodles and 7-Up.”
YIKES. Just past the living room is the “chat room,” where the dweller would sit at the computer and drunkenly post memes and Naruto fanfiction on deep web forums. The tenant’s love for beer that expired over 20 years ago eventually hospitalized them, which led officials to their home to investigate.
OMG. The closet of the main hallway contained a chromatic variety of urine jugs. Some bottles were still warm, which led investigators to believe the tenant had only started using pissjugs when the bathroom became non-functional last winter. And speaking of the bathroom…
WTF. As mentioned, the bathroom was no longer usable. Most of the debris in this room was unidentifiable, but there was clearly a 5-inch layer of petrified fecal matter on the floor. The cleanup crew has already blown out 3 power washers in unsuccessful attempts to clean this bathroom.
NO! The refrigerator contained very little, but made up for the clutter with extreme filth and mold. One retired jug of urine had grown enough bacteria to make kombucha. A container of sour cream was the most easily identifiable item in the refrigerator, and investigators couldn’t help but take a peep.
PLEASE! The container of sour cream looked and smelled like a blend of cottage cheese and Papa John’s Garlic Dipping Sauce. Investigators provided the Miami County Bugle Caller with a sample of the substance, which we forced our unpaid intern to try out. He was able to confirm that the sour cream tasted much worse than cottage cheese and garlic sauce ever could.
Alright, we’ve all seen enough of the Piqua Hoarder House. If you need to bleach your eyes, please flip around miamicountybc.com and check out our wholesome content. Be sure to subscribe and stay in the loop with the finest local news!