TROY – The Miami County Courthouse got bubbled late Friday night, following the Miami County Bugle Caller’s report that the fountains were to be used as bidets.
Evidence indicates that the bubble job was an attempt at voter suppression, following record-breaking early voting turnout at the courthouse. Investigators believe that there was an insider in the Troy Sanitation Department, planted by Russian Spies to poison the fountain during their nightly cleansing of the fountain bidets.
One employee at the Troy Sanitation Team stated that he found an abundance of ricin in the truck before their Friday night run. He mentioned that a new employee, Sergei Kusheckenov, was caught reaching for the ricin, but hastily grabbed a large tub of Mr. Bubbles bath fuel instead.
“I caught him in the act, but didn’t think twice about the bubble bath formula. At the time, I thought that was just safer than ricin, so I let it slide. Now, I see that he was just covering something up. Then the courthouse got bubbled,” said Gary Kooper of the Troy Sanitation Team.
The bubbles spread across the Miami County Courthouse’s lot, and flowed down Main Street towards the square. Several locals documented the bubbles through Facebook posts, leading some families to bring their children to the courthouse for free bath time.
“My baby boy Timmy loves Mr. Bubbles bath fuel, but I hate having that stuff in our shower. So anywhere he can get some without me paying for it is an opportunity I need to take advantage of,” said Rachel Coolidge, mother of Timmy.
The City of Troy has already cleaned up the bubbles, but the investigation has only just begun. Please provide any tips to the stories in the comments, and subscribe to the Miami County Bugle Caller to keep up with updates on this ongoing situation.