ANTIFA to Take Down Pleasant Hill Statue

ANTIFA to Take Down Pleasant Hill Statue

PLEASANT HILL – Whispers from the ANTIFA World Headquarters hint at plans to take down the statue that stands in the middle of downtown Pleasant Hill. Known as the “Newton Township Civil War Monument,” the structure has stood in controversy over the years. Now, ANTIFA may be coming for it.

“It could definitely be a racist statue,” said an anonymous ANTIFA representative. “We really don’t know, but wouldn’t be surprised, just based on how it looks, and considering that it’s from the Civil War era.”

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Spokespersons from the Pleasant Hill History Center (PHHC) insist that this is all one huge misunderstanding.

“The monument stands in memory of our heroes who fought for the Union against slavery. It’s the furthest thing from racist. As a community, we should be proud of the heroes we’ve chosen to honor in this beautiful town,” said Edith Eberheardt of the PHHC.

The PHHC is organizing a militia to defend the statue at all costs, equipping guards with Civil War-era rifles atop the only tall building in downtown Pleasant Hill. Guards will be instructed to snipe any vandal who attempts to deface the monument. 

“Hopefully, we won’t need to resort to violence, but in some places, we value property over human lives!” said Eberheardt. 

PHHC has been proactively preparing for the situation with the help of several local volunteers, including farmers and members of the Old Fashioned Rifle Society.

“This is the opportunity I been waiting for, to dust off my ol’ flintlock musket and sharpen my bayonet. Them ANTIFA will reconsider their actions when they lay gutted on the town square!” said farmer Geoff Ghonson of Pleasant Hill, proud owner of a Blunderbuss Short-Barreled Musket.

It is unknown when ANTIFA will strike Newton Township, but the PHHC and their militia will be trained and ready.

Subscribe to the Miami County Bugle Caller for more updates on the situation. 

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Gaavin San Pellegrino

MCBC Field Reporter. Cat lover. Guitarist. Double-shot of red-eye espresso.

This Post Has 13 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Nancy

    Wow. If the Antifa could just move him to the cemetery I’d be cool with that. He doesn’t burn. Pumpkin heads and Christmas tree infernos have left him unscathed. He a tough old bird.

  2. Avatar
    Rick Dixon

    I’ll help defend the statue at any time let me know how.

  3. Avatar
    Nancy Deal

    Protect that monument!!!

  4. Avatar
    Dumb Shit

    This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever read.

  5. Avatar
    Gene Blair

    It’s high time that Antifa and BLM are declared Terrorist organizations and are eradicated. Neither serve any useful purpose. Their only agenda is to destroy America by turning the country into a pile of rubble. Time to shut or get off the pot. Shoot the first SOB that touches the monument and the others will scatter like cockroaches caught by light in a darkened room.

  6. Avatar
    Joseph

    Is this a joke?

  7. Avatar
    Krista Schenck

    My husbands Grandfather is the one who placed the statue there

  8. Avatar
    Mearl Hodges

    ANTIFA REPRESENATIVE SAID: “It could definitely be a racist statue,” said an anonymous ANTIFA representative. “We really don’t know, but wouldn’t be surprised, just based on how it looks, and considering that it’s from the Civil War era.” WHAT AN IGNORANT STATEMENT! “We really don’t know, but wouldn’t be surprised.” It is a simple monument remembering civil war soldiers, represented by a Northern Soldier. That does not make it racist. The war between North and South was more than slavery, but boils down that. The North fought for the freedom for m those enslaved. Many run away slaves became Northern soldier to fight for the cause. Tearing down something you are not sure of is wrong. You dishonor the memories of every freed slave who fought so that their loved ones in the south could be free!

  9. Avatar
    Frank

    We’re told this is a fake news site. Can you refute this?

  10. Avatar
    Todd

    I dont think killing a vandal is the appropriate response. I am totally against antifa. How about non lethal force?

  11. Avatar
    Russ Sergent

    If you need help to defend the Monument at Pleasant Hill I am available

  12. Avatar
    Tim Burnside

    You give these people far to many rights in this country it’s time we exercise our rights too!

  13. Avatar
    For Real

    It is terrifying how many people truly don’t see this as instant satire. Come on.

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