“Urbanized” Walmart Convenience Store Coming To Downtown Troy

“Urbanized” Walmart Convenience Store Coming To Downtown Troy

TROY – A territorial battle between grocery giants may have gone too far, as Walmart Inc. has announced plans to open an “urbanized” Walmart convenience store in downtown Troy.

The new Walmart location will be a small, storefront, tucked into downtown Troy’s square. Corporate architects cite “Amazon Go” stores as inspiration for the design. 

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The city already holds a fine platter of big box retailers, with a Walmart, Meijer, and a newly renovated Kroger Marketplace all within city limits. Walmart Inc. has clearly had enough of the competition. 

“As soon as Kroger opened that damn marketplace, we knew we had to act. They had olive bars, craft breads, smelly cheeses, and all kinds of fancy bullshit,” said one corporate spokesperson. 

Troy’s fancy Kroger Marketplace.

“We planned to deploy the first no-checkout Walmart in a bigger market, but we really wanted to give a big f-you to Kroger for taking our share of Troy business,” said the spokesperson. 

Walmart spokespeople also mentioned the ease of setting up the new convenient store, which won’t require any employees thanks to its no-checkout surveillance features.

“Sure, it won’t bring new jobs to the area, but locals should still be excited to experience this. There will still be the typical Walmart greeter, except it’s just an old android named Eugene.”

Separate from this chaos, Meijer is desperate to get in on some of the attention. One employee leaked to the city’s zoning committee that there is a plan to build a small amusement park outside of Meijer’s garden center, but nobody really cared.

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Matt's Wasted
Passion Winery
Hard Balls Casino
Miami County Singles
El Sombrero
Miami County Pyramid Schemes
Visit Lake St. Mary's Today
Miami County Singles
Twinkle Van Dam: Psychic for Hire
Schafty's Brew House
McGinty Funeral Home
Steel Lounge
Miami County Singles
Danny's Custard Wagon
Miami County Singles
Spritegoose: We Keep You Safe
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Tippecanoe Lifestyle Community, Bue you in front of everyone else

Mario Cheltingham

MCBC Business Insider Analyst. Former Muncie Business Journal Editor-In-Chief. Striving to create a more prosperous business climate.

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Janna

    I will not be shopping at this new Walmart for a few good reasons.
    1. They are wanting to place it in downtown Troy, near the square. Im completely against that! The store front space in that area should be reserved for small businesses!

    2. They have a horrible attitude- the spokesperson for Walmart reaaallllly has a grudge against Kroger for expanding- which brought more jobs, and helped out local/semi local economy.

    3. This new store front will be adding exactly 0… yes 0 new jobs to our area!!!

    Please do not allow Walmart to come in and make money off of a community they don’t want to help support.

  2. Avatar
    Dan Simes

    Kind of have to wonder how true this is with all the language. Not very business like. Also if they are not going to create jobs what’s the point?

  3. Avatar
    Diertè Puhols

    This is fine and all, but when will they stop putting churches in Sherwood Plaza? They have The Valley church, Church’s Chicken and some guy that says his name is Church who’s squatting in the old bank.

  4. Avatar
    Marcia

    Who want wal mart downtown with there cheap shit. Kroger’s was here First and has been forever and mijer are even better they Both pay better so that people can live Walmart Is just wants every dime they can get greedy

  5. Avatar
    Belinda

    Why on earth would we want a store that isn’t going to employ anyone people must work to survive we already have a Walmart store bring us something that will help our Community and that has affordable products

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