Miami River Levee To Expand 1 Mile By 2040, Swallow Downtown Troy

Miami River Levee To Expand 1 Mile By 2040, Swallow Downtown Troy

MIAMI COUNTY – Local geologists predict that The Great Miami River will widen an entire mile in the next 20 years, and swallow downtown Troy entirely. 

Research suggests that the river’s sharp series of turns will cause the water to undercut the river valley, and chip away at Troy’s levee. Such erosion would likely cause the city to collapse into itself

Miami County Pyramid Schemes
Steel Lounge
Schafty's Brew House
Visit Lake St. Mary's Today
Danny's Custard Wagon
Matt's Wasted
Spritegoose: We Keep You Safe
Hard Balls Casino
El Sombrero
McGinty Funeral Home
Tippecanoe Lifestyle Community, Bue you in front of everyone else
Twinkle Van Dam: Psychic for Hire
Passion Winery

“It’s everything you’ve heard about global warming. Times ten. Glaciers will melt, water will flow, and cities will fall,” said Boris Schnitzen of the Miami County Environmental Expert Society (MCEES).

Such a catastrophe would tank the value of several downtown properties, and prompt a relocation of the Strawberry Festival. Rumors hint that the yearly event could be moved to a homebuilder-sponsored neighborhood in Concord Township

City officials are actively denouncing the rumors at the request of several downtown property owners. “The levee was built for a reason. We went over this 100 years ago,” said one councilman.  

The MCEES is not convinced.

“The evidence is right there. You’ve all seen what’s happened to the Knoop Baseball Complex over the years,” said Schnitzen. “Luckily, we’ve got until 2040 to prepare. Just remember that I told you so.”

Some locals are preparing to mount their homes on stilts to prevent them from falling into the Miami River. City officials are encouraging locals to hold off from such measures until more facts come to the surface. 

Subscribe to the Miami County Bugle Caller to stay prepared for all geological disasters in the area.

Tippecanoe Lifestyle Community, Bue you in front of everyone else
Hard Balls Casino
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Twinkle Van Dam: Psychic for Hire
Miami County Pyramid Schemes
Steel Lounge
Passion Winery
McGinty Funeral Home
Miami County Singles
Schafty's Brew House
Matt's Wasted
El Sombrero
Visit Lake St. Mary's Today
Danny's Custard Wagon
Spritegoose: We Keep You Safe

Mario Cheltingham

MCBC Business Insider Analyst. Former Muncie Business Journal Editor-In-Chief. Striving to create a more prosperous business climate.

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Avatar
    John Doody

    I for one am not taking any chances. Remember what the Bible said about Noah’s Ark and no one taking that guy seriously. So now I will be moving myself and my family to higher ground.

  2. Avatar
    Alan Burnside

    Looking at the past 30 years erosion does not indicate that the next 20 years will be as predicted. Not even close.

Leave a Reply