Union Township – Following the massive influx of tech companies in Union Township, local startup PixlHed has already lost roughly 5 million dollars funded out-of-pocket by investors.
Investors flocked to startups like PixlHed after an article from the Miami County Bugle Caller projected Union Township as America’s next Silicon Valley. The company specializes in big data, collecting device IDs from users who visit their phishy webpages.
In just 6 months, PixlHead raised 5 million dollars to literally start up the company – but not enough cash to get business moving. 26 year old CEO Dillon Miscowski was originally thrilled by the fat influx of cash, but his plans were just fantasies he’d dreamed up in business school.
“I sincerely apologize to all of our investors,” said Miscowski in his Monday release to MCBC. “It’s highly unlikely that PixlHed will be revived, so don’t expect to get that money back anytime soon.”
Investors are outraged by Miscowski’s comments. Robert Goldhammer, an investor from Piqua, claimed that PixlHead built “an expensive office with food trucks, espressos, drones, Peloton bikes, and all of that shit that Google has.”
Like Goldhammer, several other investors contributing funds under the impression that PixlHed had a plan to become the new face of big data. With privacy laws on the horizon, the company is absolutely hopeless under its current model.
Though PixlHed’s failures have left a bad impression on new tech companies in Miami County, new startups continue to sprout along the countryside like sweet corn.
Investors are already turning to a more promising startup called SpriteGoose, a company that specializes in “scent recognition software” (SRS) that unlocks devices using smell, similar to how cats and dogs sniff each other’s asses. Spritegoose Co-Founder Dwight Zunderman calls SRS “an ode to a more universal form of familiarity,” and claims it’s at least twice as accurate as face recognition.
The time to invest is now, at least if you want to be the first of your friends to get involved with the high-tech industry in Union Township. Subscribe to the Miami County Bugle Caller for all local business and tech news.