MIAMI COUNTY – The moon will temporarily be in flames tonight, according to research backed by Miami County scientists. The flames will occur around 10 PM, and it’s going to be sick. You’re not going to want to miss it.
On Thursday night, MCBC’s Chief Meteorologist Philip Glute noticed an unusual alignment in the stars that will temporarily set the moon on fire around 11 PM tonight. The flames will last for about 20 seconds, then all will be back to normal.
“I don’t think other astrologists have been paying attention. I can’t believe nobody else has pointed this out,” said Glute. “It’s very, very real.”
The phenomenon is similar to a solar eclipse in terms of rarity. The moon has not been on fire for thousands of years, well before mankind was able to comprehend what the hell was going on.
It is not known whether or not eye protection will be required, but you probably don’t want your eyeballs to melt off your face. This is something that has never happened in modern history, so despite how cool it may look, it would probably be best to take cover. We wouldn’t want anyone to smolder into a lifeless pile of skin scraps during this incredible phenomenon.
It’s on you to spread the word, because nobody’s going to want to miss this. Despite the danger, we will be sending out our unpaid interns to cover the event, which will be livestreamed on our Facebook page.
It’s all happening tonight, and you heard it first from the Miami County Bugle Caller.