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Oops! Troy PD Just Lost A Huge Bag of Cocaine

TROY, OH – Folks, can I be upfront with you here? This is not good AT ALL. One of our guys really shit the bed here, hardly knows the difference between the tip of his dick and his thumb. We’ve sent all our officers out, so hopefully it’ll come up soon, but have any of you seen a large bag with bricks of cocaine lying around?

Okay, I might have under-stressed how important it is that we get this back, but it was a lot of cocaine, and so for the public safety, if someone could tell us where that cocaine went, that would be ideal. Maybe we just take a “no harm, no foul” approach to this one. Just come back with most of the cocaine and we’re square. Sound good?

El Sombrero
Schafty's Brew House
Spritegoose: We Keep You Safe
Steel Lounge
McGinty Funeral Home
Danny's Custard Wagon
Tippecanoe Lifestyle Community, Bue you in front of everyone else
Visit Lake St. Mary's Today
Twinkle Van Dam: Psychic for Hire
Matt's Wasted
Hard Balls Casino
Miami County Pyramid Schemes
Passion Winery

Maybe some of you still don’t get the scale of what we’re dealing with, I’ll just show you how much cocaine we lost, maybe this will help to refresh some people’s memories.

So, it’s a lot. We put all those bars into a bag, we handed it off to Officer Steinband, and then he completely lost track of the damn thing. Now if we could undo this situation, we obviously would, but no use in crying over spilled milk. However, this is a very expensive amount of cocaine, so if we could get it back, that would be best for all parties involved.

And I’ll be the first to acknowledge that Steinband really shit the bed here, not a good look for his first day on the job by any measure. But this is a real opportunity to learn, like now we know “don’t trust Steinband with large amounts of drugs for more than a few minutes” and Steinband now knows how important it is to keep your eyes on the drugs at all times. And really, at the end of the day, don’t we want to encourage that kind of learning?

I say let’s all just move on from this. If you know where the cocaine is, feel free to call 911 and ask for the Chief, they’ll know who it’s for.

Steel Lounge
Miami County Singles
McGinty Funeral Home
Visit Lake St. Mary's Today
Twinkle Van Dam: Psychic for Hire
Passion Winery
Tippecanoe Lifestyle Community, Bue you in front of everyone else
El Sombrero
Hard Balls Casino
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Miami County Singles
Spritegoose: We Keep You Safe
Matt's Wasted
Miami County Singles
Miami County Pyramid Schemes
Danny's Custard Wagon
Schafty's Brew House

Braxton Chancery

Chief of Troy Police. Fighting for the citizens of the Miami Valley.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. troy pd

    shit the bed

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