TROY – For the 4th straight season, the Troy Trojans have defeated the Piqua Indians in the annual football game. This year, victory tastes sweeter for the Troy community as the county seat remains south of the Miami.
Last week, the Miami County Bugle Caller reported that a Troy Councilmember drunkenly staked the city’s title to County Seat in a sports bet with various Piqua Officials. Fortunately, the Trojans delivered under the Friday night lights in a 35-9 blowout over the Indians.
“The courthouse statue continues to face south,” said Troy’s OC Tim Schafter. “Our boys really played the pigskin, and reminded the Piquans of their inferiority. We couldn’t be prouder.”
Piqua coaches are being ridiculed for enforcing strict regimes on their players leading up to the big game. Despite regular consumption of horse placenta and countless one-legged chinups, it was all for nothing as the Trojans ate their asses up.
In celebration, Troy’s Local Council has officially declared November 1st as “Defendence Day” to honor the Trojans who protected the city’s claim to the capital. “It’s a night our city will never forget,” said Mayor Beamish.
Unfortunately, Kid Rock flaked on the halftime show – but local rocker Reece Lincoln filled in with a handful of cover songs to save the night. The performance inspired the Trojans, who went on to score 3 touchdowns in the 2nd half to win the game.
The Trojans are now looking ahead to next week’s match against the Miami Valley Silverbacks, who haven’t won a match since 2012. On the other hand, the Indians are dealing with lawsuits from multiple parents whose children received salmonella from the team’s intense regime.
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