MIAMI COUNTY – After 120 years of competitive football, Ohio’s greatest rivalry is taking it to the next level. On November 1st, the winner of the 2019 Troy-Piqua football game is set to receive more than a slight tick in the standings. The victorious team will claim the title of County Seat, and eternal glory for their beloved hometowns.
“We will not back down,” said Troy’s Vice Offensive Coordinator, Tim Schafter. “We will protect this side of the Miami at all costs.”
Piqua’s Director of Football Insight and Foresight (DFIF), Matt Haybaugh, had other ideas. “I’ve been feeding the players horse placenta all month. If they’re all staying true to their raw egg and kale diets, this matchup should be cake.”
The rivalry between Troy and Piqua goes well beyond high school athletics – football is just the only way to continually rile up both parties. Piqua accepted inferiority long ago in 1808, but centuries have passed – incentivizing both cities to shake things up.
“When I watch football, my thoughts go away. Mainly because I get wasted, but also because it’s a beautiful game,” said Martin Timson of Troy’s Council, and Walnut Society. “Last weekend, after a couple of tequila shots with some Piqua City Councilmen, I put it all on the table.” Timson’s drunken engagements with the Councilmen formally set the bet into stone, placing the county seat up for grabs in the Troy-Piqua football game.
What appears to be a massive publicity stunt is already making dividends for both schools’ football programs. Tickets for the game are nearly sold out, and Kid Rock is rumored to make an appearance at the halftime show. To top it all off, the winning team’s teenage quarterback will give out free autographs after the big game.
Vegas odds currently favor the Trojans by 8 points, but Piqua is never afraid to step up in the big game. Troy leads the all-time series 65-63-6, and Piqua plans to do anything necessary for victory – consuming horse placenta and doing one-legged chin-ups in preparation.
It all goes down on November 1st at Troy Memorial Stadium. Who will sit on the County Seat? Share your thoughts in the comments, and subscribe to the Miami County Bugle Caller for all breaking local sports news.