It’s that time of year where the sweatiest locals make their way to the Miami County Fairgrounds for the annual County Fair. Every year, carnies and vendors from across the country bring their best games, food, and events for people to enjoy. Here are 6 things you can’t miss at the 2019 Miami County Fair:
1. The Human Cannon, Sponsored by Slim Jim
This year, TriTown Entertainment, the official equipment provider of the Miami County Fair, has decided to step things up a notch, and the Human Cannon is their first foray into “low-fi amusement rides.” The rider climbs up a ladder directly into the mouth of the cannon, at which point the operator will fire off over 500 lbs. of explosives, sending the passenger flailing into a pit of Slim Jim Factory Porklinks. The ride has yet to be unveiled, but expect this one to make quite a BOOM at the Miami County Fair.
2. Faygo Dunk Tank
We all know our public spaces are more and more being integrated with our modern corporate world, and this year, the Miami County Fair gets in on the action! In an integrated brand experience sponsored by Faygo, fair patrons can take turns dunking Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, members of the Insane Clown Posse and official corporate spokespeople for Faygo Brands International. Faygo stated they wanted a fun way to engage their brand with, “people who really like soda, probably.”
3. Erotic Onion Ring Toss
Can you throw an onion ring onto a tackboard full of dildos? If you’re not sure, it’s about time you tested your skills at the fair’s Erotic Onion Ring Toss! Winners get coupons and gift cards to the booth’s esteemed sponsor, Adam and Eve. Participants must be 18 or older, unless Harley is running the booth (he lets minors play too!).
4. 200 MPH Ferris Wheel
We’ve all “been for a spin.” Everybody “gets headaches.”’ But have you truly pushed your body and mental fortitude to the limit? Don’t be soft – try out the 200 MPH Ferris Wheel. It’s easily the least-busy ride at the Miami County Fair, but only because most people are afraid to try it. This year, you don’t want to be one of those people. Take the next step and bust the sound barrier on the 200 MPH Ferris Wheel.
5. Realpenis™ Hot Dogs
We all know it wouldn’t be a real fair without meaty, juicy Realpenis™ Hot Dogs. Try out a juicy Horse Shaft Sausage with spicy mustard, or the classic Phallic Frank with garlic aioli. Your taste buds deserve the real deal; so let’s get serious about what you put in your mouth. Try Realpenis™ Hot Dogs for “a crunch you’ll never forget.”
6. Açaí and Cheddar Egg Rolls
Admittedly, this one is a bit upsetting. However, once you get past the seemingly horrifying flavor combination, it’s not that bad. Plus, açaí is good for you, I think. I’m not 100% sure what that is, in the interest of full transparency. But it’s there if you want it, which is always good for consumers.
7. El Sombrero Burrito Eating Contest
10 burritos in 60 seconds. Does that scare you? If you have any doubts – don’t even try. You’ll get your ass kicked. This year’s event brings worldwide eating champion Takeru Kobayashi to the table on Friday, August 16. The winner will receive an autograph, and a few coupons to El Sombrero (neighbor to the Miami County Fairgrounds). Test your luck against the world champion for a chance to make history for the entire Miami County.
Make sure to visit miamicountybc.com for more hard-hitting news!