The Country Concert is known for more than just the music that’s featured throughout the weekend. It’s also the perfect opportunity to slop around like hogs in the mud, and tank cold brews in the sunshine. Now that this momentous event has concluded, we’ve recapped the 7 craziest things that totally happened at the 2019 Country Concert.
1. The Women’s Coleslaw Wrestling Tournament
The 2019 Women’s Coleslaw Wrestling Tournament was one for the books. It only took 15 minutes of sloshing around in a kiddie pool for Crystal to take down Karleigh and claim the ‘Slaw Belt. Seriously, this is a thing that actually happens at the Country Concert – and it’s as smelly as it sounds, being a summertime event. All leftover coleslaw was extracted from the kiddie pool and served at the Sunday luncheon.
2. Cleanup Volunteers Collected 3,388,624 Cans of Coors Light.
Coors Light didn’t need an official sponsorship to leave their mark on the 2019 Country Concert. The event is known to welcome extreme amounts of littering, but this time – attendees took it to a new level. Volunteers found more than 3 million Coors Light cans on the festival grounds, weighing in at over 120,000 pounds of aluminum. That’s enough solid waste to warrant its own landfill! This issue certainly wasn’t helped by this next factoid:
3. The Grounds Crew Created a Giant Pit of Mud and Beer Before the Show Even Began.
Each year, Country Concert attendees slop themselves in the mud like a bunch of hogs. While this is usually a celebration of rainy weather, Mother Nature gave no promises for the 2019 event. To ensure there was enough mud for everyone, the grounds crew took care of it before the festival even started. As a cherry on top, they unloaded a semi-truck full of Coors Light into the mud pit (leftover from Korey’s bachelor party) to draw attendees into the mud for free booze.
4. Over 2,000 Attendees Contracted Chlamydia
2,000+ attendees of the 2019 Country Concert left with an unexpected burning sensation. Apparently, the combination of cowboy boots, jean shorts, romantic lyrics really gets people in the mood. It’s just too bad that Dallas has chlamydia, and showed up to ruin the fun for everyone. On a more positive note, over 6,000 attendees were tested, with many testing positive for various STI’s they didn’t know they had. Be sure to get tested regularly, people!
5. 10,000 People Pretended to Like Country Music
Let’s be honest – people don’t go to Country Concert for the tunes. It’s all about boozing in the sun, chawing wads of tobacco, and battling dehydration. We ran the numbers, and estimate that roughly 10,000 people were only pretending to like the music. When asked about their fandom, one attendee told us “yeah, sure, I definitely listen to Brantley Montgomery or whatever on a regular basis. Pass me a Coors Light dude.”
6. Korn Found Their Way Onto the Lineup
Korn managed to find their way onto the Saturday night main stage lineup. The show coordinators were clearly mistaken, thinking that the Nu Metal band wrote songs about corn, crops, and general farm life. It’s a pretty easy mistake to make, if you’ve never tuned in to 103.9 “The X”. When Freak on a Leash was cast upon the crowd, it was already too late. That circle pit was something else!
7. Kyle Tipped Over a Pot-O-John
Dude, do you remember when Kyle knocked over that porta potty? That was so fucking funny. He just ran at it at full force like a fucking maniac! I mean, no one was inside, so it wasn’t clear what the point was, but it was still so fucking crazy. And then he just walked away like he didn’t just dump a bunch of piss and shit on the ground and started singing The Final Countdown to himself. Kyle is the absolute man.
Even if you missed out on the 2019 Country Concert, you now know the hottest details about everything that went down. Be sure to subscribe to the Miami County Bugle Caller for more details on local events!