BURGLARY: A deputy got sent out to the 9300 block of Spiker Road by the old tire past that weird log, Washington Twp. about a burglary complaint. Upon arrival, the deputy saw Aaron Stimpson sprinting down the road with a wheel barrow full of women’s clothing, stopped him and then charged Aaron with burglary. Ryan Stimpson, the victims pissed off ex-lover, was charged with receiving the plus-sized stolen property.
THE JAIL: A deputy responded to the Miami Jail in reference to a male inmate who had been assaulted. He was transported to Lower Valley Medical Center for a simple check-up due to the non-severity of his injuries. After investigation, two male inmates were seen playing basketball— normal day I guess.
BURGLARY: A deputy got in his Ford Police Interceptor Utility 3.7L AWD (which for some reason a lot of normal people also drive and it kind of stresses me out when I see them behind me but it’s always some weird middle-aged couple) and drove to the 9700 block of State Route 571, in response to a report of a burglary. Upon arrival it was found the residence had entered through the back door because fucking Josh left it unlocked again. My TV, Kevin and I’s motorcycles, and my safe had all been removed from the residence.
STOLEN BIKE BUT WE THINK IT WAS ETHAN: A resident in the 8000 block of Piqua-Lockington Road watched as some weird drug dude took his bike from his back porch at like 1:30am or something like that. The resident was up playing video games and his room is like, right there and the lights were on, so it was obvious what was happening. Still don’t know who it was, but we suspect it might have been Ethan because he’s been having some serious drug problems lately. Anybody seen the bike around anywhere? Knowing Ethan, he likely did not get very far.
WRONG WAY, DUDE! HAHA: One of our deputies was patrolling the bike path near mile marker 6 near Dye Mill Road when he saw some joker driving his car southbound on the bikeway. The driver and passenger were like: “Ooohhh blah blah blah we didn’t know,” but it was super obvious they were trying to be funny for the girls they had in the backseat. The deputy was then like: “Dude, not funny. What if you hit someone? Lol.” They were charged, and definitely didn’t make a good impression on Kaylie or Raechel.