Tipp City Council Approves New “Lifestyle Community”

Tipp City Council Approves New “Lifestyle Community”

TIPP CITY, OH – In a controversial move, the Tipp City council voted Monday to approve the construction of a new development. SchlongCo Ventures is funding the development, and describes it as a singles-only “lifestyle community” meant to encourage free sexuality and openness to experience. Tipp City council president Steve Sagingo is a majority owner of SchlongCo Ventures.

In a vote that came that ended 5-4, council passed a resolution that approves permits needed to begin construction. It also gives SchlongCo Ventures a $10 million dollar tax break meant to bring foreign investors to Tipp City. (SchlongCo Ventures registration is in the Seychelles.)

In a press conference after the session, Sagingo responded directly to critics. “Look, I get my hog wet from time to time. Everyone knows that. So if I can cash in and get my balls wet? That’s cool. And it was really good of Bernie, and Tood, and all those guys for coming and and voting for my bill. That was super cool, it’s gonna make it a lot easier to get this thing off the ground.”

Sagingo also invoked the Timley Amendment to this resolution, essentially guaranteeing that the resolution will remain in effect for years. Council president Patrick Timley invoked the amendment in 1966. The amendment states there can be no “take-backs” on a bill just because some people don’t like it later. This was due to the back-and-forth between segregationist and pro-integration groups, which would administer sweeping policy change with every election. The courts have never challenged the Timley Amendment. Many worry that by invoking this parliamentary relic, the resolution may stab at the racial wounds this town has been plagued by.

Regardless of the outcome, the development is going to mean massive expansion for the already-booming Tipp City. The development will sport 1,000 two bedroom duplex condos. It will also feature several nightclubs, a coffee shop, a vegan deli, and several “Bangin’ Broom Closets”, sponsored by Hooters. Financial statements value the development at $50 million.

Philip Kratzenberg

Politics editor-at-large, Miami County Bugle Caller. Avid runner, political junkie, father of twelve. Running to find the truth
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