PIQUA, OH – On Sunday, the Piqua City Council announced that new manhole covers will be added on Water Street in early June. These bronze-plated covers are intended to solve the ongoing issue with locals exploring the city’s sewage system. City officials believe that the manholes will provide a proper barrier between sewage and street, making it difficult for unwanted visitors to access the underworld. An anonymous local commented that “these manholes should do the trick,” and that they are “just what the area needs to protect this sacred place.”

Many downtown residents have found an oasis within the local sewage system, emphasizing that the sewers have less of a litter problem. Some locals insist that new manhole covers will restrict access to the safer parts of town, and claim that the citizens in Piqua were not considered when this decision was made. The anonymous local claimed that “the city government made this choice out of their own interest, so they can have the underworld to themselves. They’re scared to face up to the truth but we will not back down.” Local government representatives declined to comment.